All my carefully measured metaphor All my flat nine dominant seven chords All of my schtick, my lyrical trickery All those bows, all that applause All my intertextuality All my self-aware hypocrisy All of those rhymes, those irregular times All my softly spoken sophistry All my makeup, all my lights All my photoshoots in tights All my pretentions, all my intentions All my glitzy opening nights All my brow-dependent jokes All my mirrorballs and smoke All my tilts at wit and wimsy All my poetry, my swearwords, and my smut Will never get as many hits as Kitten Waking Up