作曲 : Stephen Lynch
I can't even wish for death
I drew my last breath about a thousand years ago
Now all I can do is roam
Around somebody else's home, haunting people I don't know

I get sad every night
I look bad wearing white
I'm a terrible ghost
A really terrible ghost

How I wish that I could quit, cause I hate all the spooky shit
I'd rather smoke a bowl instead
I don't mean to be untoward but man **** a ouija board
I think I'll just go back to bed
Have a cry, watch TV
My dad was right, he always said I'd be
Such a terrible ghost
Useless, lazy ghost

I dream every night that I'd learn how to scare a child or two
But then when I wake up I realize I still don't know "Boo" about being a ghost

All the other ghosts are dicks, cruel to me
Don't get me started on those chicks, they see right through me
Man when is it over? This sad, sad song?
Oh, eternity? Cool, that's not very long

I don't care, too forlorn
It's not fair, I never asked to be born, and then dead, and then undead
Like I said, I'm a terrible ghost
A really terrible ghost

**** you, Dad