[00:05.811]ADAM: Look at this crib
[00:08.940]In all of its glorious antiquary
[00:12.514]Every curve and surface speaks to me
[00:15.766]Saying pamper and spoil me
[00:17.546]Sand me and oil me
[00:19.160]Come on
[00:21.853]I know to the untrained eye it's boring
[00:25.158]But nothing's a chore when you're restoring
[00:28.420]Apart from frustration, pain, and financial drain
[00:32.128]It's fun!
[00:34.213]Folks say, "Adam...
[00:35.823]Why do you polish your crib
[00:36.838]When you don't have a kid?
[00:37.711]And even if you did have a kid
[00:38.985]This crib is too precious for placing a baby inside it
[00:41.043]So it simply exists to remind you
[00:42.278]Your sense of perfection is just a reflection
[00:44.033]That you are not mentally prepared
[00:45.182]To make room for a kid, Adam
[00:48.252]Why don't you live, Adam?
[00:51.476]Just make a start"
[00:55.195]Are you willing to take the next step?
[00:58.018]Ready, set-
[00:59.157]Ready, set-
[01:01.334]BARBARA, spoken: Look at these jugs!
[01:04.484](sung) Amazingly glazed and terracotta-ery
[01:07.802]I took some clay and made you pottery
[01:11.385]The world will never wreck you
[01:13.117]I'll protect you in a mother's embrace
[01:16.642]Folks say, "Barbara...
[01:18.305]Why can't you see that ceramics
[01:19.452]Is simply a manifestation of motherly panic
[01:21.411]By making a baby that's breakable
[01:22.896]Aren't you creating a way of translating the terror
[01:24.486]Of making maternal mistakes into clay
[01:26.444]Hiding away
[01:27.255]So you don't have to face being a bad mom, Barbara
[01:30.836]That's what you've done, Barbara
[01:34.018]Just make a start"
[01:37.738]Are you willing to take the next step?
[01:40.112]Ready, set-
[01:41.395]BOTH: Here we stand
[01:43.430]At the end of a 10-year plan
[01:47.500]A house
[01:48.322]A yard
[01:49.085]A minivan
[01:50.744]A baby should be next
[01:53.368]Together let's leap off the cliff
[01:56.381]Fall forever, then smash to bits
[01:59.924]Trapped in a terrifying viper pit
[02:03.772]Of diapers and regret
[02:06.921]Are we willing to take the next step?
[02:10.958]ADAM: Ready, set-
[02:12.109]BARBARA: Ready, set-
[02:13.416]ADAM: Not yet
[02:14.223]BARBARA: Not yet
[02:15.057]ADAM: Why rush?
[02:15.860]BARBARA: Why rush?
[02:16.906]BOTH: Soon enough, our hopes and our dreams will be crushed
[02:19.735]BARBARA: But not yet!
[02:20.645]ADAM: But not yet!
[02:21.489]BARBARA: Not now
[02:22.305]ADAM: Not now
[02:26.145]Ooohh?
[02:27.623]No!
[02:29.090]See? We can't start a family in a house with creaky floorboards!
[02:32.919]BARBARA: You are absolutely right
[02:34.515]Let's add it to the list
[02:36.158]With the cracks in the plaster
[02:38.080]ADAM: The wi-fi should be faster
[02:39.610]BARBARA: This sofa needs a castor
[02:41.257]ADAM: The bathroom's a disaster!
[02:42.668]BARBARA: What about global poverty?
[02:44.499]ADAM: What about world peace?
[02:45.704]BARBARA: Then there's the whole darn economy
[02:47.769]ADAM: The whole Middle East
[02:49.003]BARBARA: We should learn Mandarin
[02:50.547]ADAM: Yeah! Or Spanish at least
[02:52.328]BOTH: No habla español
[02:55.197]Dos cervezas, por favor
[02:58.210]And that's all we got
[02:59.941]And that's not a lot
[03:01.504]Do we want a bilingual household or not?
[03:05.256]So let's go slow
[03:06.941]No breaking a sweat
[03:08.433]What's the point of having children
[03:10.100]If we're drowning in debt?
[03:11.551]BARBARA: Now we're totally
[03:12.883]ADAM: Completely
[03:13.586]BARBARA: Maybe eighty percent
[03:16.725]ADAM: I'd say seventy-eight
[03:18.593]BOTH (BEETLEJUICE): Ready to take
[03:19.850]The next step (Yeah! Yeah! Yeah Yeah!)
[03:22.726]The next step (Zooby dooby dooby, dooby dop dop bow!)
[03:25.515]The next step (Zweeby, beeby, boo-bah-bah-dee!)
[03:28.311]The next step
[03:30.504]Ready, set let's—
[03:35.129]BEETLEJUICE: See I wasn't kidding
[03:36.488]It's a show about death!