Gentlemen please rise In light of why we're gathered here tonight This is it though i'm shit with goodbyes Suffice to say well i haven't much time So how i chose and choose To make use of this life allotted me Well you few know and knew And each played to me begrudging accessory So i should think it wise In debt to your unseemly sacrifice To see that when i die None of my sordid scenes come to life For me i see no need To catalog what deeds i may have done If we'll all agree to keep These terms of my demise unclarified History She will surely forgive me And history She will think of me fondly And once i had half reminds to just apologize In days less dignified Before i knew what to And not to do But sure of course there's shame In certain things i may have done But shame is not remorse And pandering's the one thing even i can't afford Measure me in grief Survived in score by prideful progeny And i though sometimes weak Still shudder to speak these secrets we keep For their sake let me stay Ostensibly the saint i seem to be For now my nose is clean So bury these peculiarities with me History She will surely forgive me And history She will scarcely forget me So no tearful goodbyes In light of why we're gathered here tonight To you whom i confide Suffice to say well i haven't much time