作词 : Billie Tweddle
 作曲 : Billie Tweddle
 [Verse 1
 He sits down and rolls his tongue in his mouth
 They get up and start rolling around
 He puts his arm on her and they walk out
 And I sit and watch and write everything down

 [Chorus
 Oh Toulouse, no Toulouse
 Short and funny-looking
 Oh Toulouse, no Toulouse
 Tendency for absinthe
 Oh Toulouse, no Toulouse
 One Toulouse

 [Verse 2
 I live now as a small-town lady
 Nights are fine when I remember they pay me
 We can talk but I'm not your baby
 And he passes out sometime around 3
 Oh sweet relief

 [Chorus
 Oh Toulouse, no Toulouse
 Short and funny-looking
 Oh Toulouse, no Toulouse
 Tendency for absinthe
 Oh Toulouse, no Toulouse
 One Toulouse
 [Bridge
 We have the makers and the movers
 The lifeguards and the gardeners who are
 Killing time like beer
 Spilling on his paper
 The old boys with the new girls
 The lovers with the half-pipes
 And the solos, the wolves, the men

 [Chorus
 Like Toulouse, oh Toulouse
 Short and funny-looking
 Oh Toulouse, no Toulouse
 Tendency for absinthe
 Oh Toulouse, no Toulouse
 One Toulouse