Oh I'm just a typical American boy
from a typical American town
I believe in God and Senator Dodd
and a keeping old Castro down
And when it came my time to serve
I knew better dead than red
But when I got to my old draft
board buddy
this is what I said
Sarge I'm only eighteen
I got a ruptured spleen
And I always carry a purse
I got eyes like a bat
and my feet are flat
and my asthma's getting worse
Yes think of my career
my sweetheart dear
and my poor old invalid aunt
Besides I ain't no fool
I'm a going to school
And I'm working in a dee fense plant
I've got a dislocated disc
and a racked up back
I'm allergic to flowers and bugs
And when the bombshell hits,
I get epileptic fits
And I'm addicted to a thousand drugs
I got the weakness woes,
I can't touch my toes
I can hardly reach my knees
And if the enemy ever came close to me
Well, I'd probably start to sneeze
I'm only eighteen,
I got a ruptured spleen
And I always carry a purse
I got eyes like a bat,
and my feet are flat
My asthma's getting worse
Consider my career,
my sweetheart dear
My poor old invalid aunt
Besides, I ain't no fool,
I'm a going to school
And I'm working in a defense plant
I hate Chou En Lai,
and I hope he dies
But I think you gotta see
That if someone's gotta go over there
That someone isn't me
So, have a ball, Sarge,
watch em fall
Yeah, kill me a thousand or so
And if you ever get a war
without any gore
Well, I'll be the first to go
yes, I'm only eighteen,
I got a ruptured spleen
And I always carry a purse
I got eyes like a bat,
and my feet are flat
My asthma's getting worse
yes consider my career,
my sweetheart dear
my rubber tree plant
Besides, I ain't no fool,
I'm a going to school
And I'm working in a defense plant