Eminem A Lot Of People Ask Me Stupid ****in Questions A Lot Of People Think That What I Say On Records Or What I Talk About On A Record That I Actually Do In Real Life Or That I Believe In It Or If I Say That I Wanna Kill Somebody That I'm Actually Gonna Do It Or That I Believe In It Well Shit If You Believe That Then I'll Kill You You Know Why Cuz I'm A Criminal Criminal You God Damn Right I'm A Criminal Yeah I'm A Criminal Eminem My Words Are Like A Dagger With A Jagged Edge That'll Stab You In The Head Whether You're A Fag Or Lez Or The Homosex Hermaph Or A Trans A Vest Pants Or Dress Hate Fags The Answer's Yes Homophobic Nah You're Just Heterophobic Starin At My Jeans Watchin My Genitals Bulgin Ooh That's My Mother****in Balls You'd Better Let Go Of Em They Belong In My Scrotum You'll Never Get Hold Of Em Hey It's Me Versace Whoops Somebody Shot Me And I Was Just Checkin The Mail Get It Checkin The 'male' How Many Records You Expectin To Sell After Your Second Lp Sends You Directly To Jail C'mon Relax Guy I Like Gay Men Right Ken Give Me An Amen Aaa Men Please Lord This Boy Needs Jesus Heal This Child Help Us Destroy These Demons Oh And Please Send Me A Brand New Car And A Prostitute While My Wife's Sick In The Hospital Preacher Preacher Fifth Grade Teacher You Can't Reach Me My Mom Can't Neither You Can't Teach Me A Goddamn Thing Cause I Watch Tv And Comcast Cable And You Ain't Able To Stop These Thoughts You Can't Stop Me From Toppin These Charts And You Can't Stop Me From Droppin Each March With A Brand New Cd For These ****in Retards Duhhh And To Think It's Just Little Ol'Me Mr Don't Give A **** Still Won't Leave Chorus Eminem Repeat 2x Cuz Every Time I Write A Rhyme These People Think It's A Crime I'm A Criminal To Tell Em What's On My Mind I Guess I'm A Criminal But I Don't Gotta Say A Word I Just Flip Em The Bird And Keep Goin I Don't Take Shit From No One I'm A Criminal Cuz Every Time I Write A Rhyme These People Think It's A Crime To Tell Em What's On My Mind I Guess I'm A Criminal But I Don't Gotta Say A Word I Just Flip Em The Bird And Keep Goin I Don't Take Shit From No One Eminem My Mother Did Drugs Tar Liquor Cigarettes And Speed The Baby Came Out Disfigured Ligaments Indeed It Was A Seed Who Would Grow Up Just As Crazy As She Don't Dare Make Fun Of That Baby Cause That Baby Was Me I'm A Criminal An Animal Caged Who Turned Crazed But How The **** You Sposed To Grow Up When You Weren't Raised So As I Got Older And I Got A Lot Taller My Dick Shrunk Smaller But My Balls Got Larger I Drink Malt Liquor To **** You Up Quicker Than You'd Wanna **** Me Up For Sayin The Word My Morals Went Thhbbpp When The President Got Oral Sex In His Oval Office On Top Of His Desk Off Of His Own Employee Now Don't Ignore Me You Won't Avoid Me You Can't Miss Me I'm White Blonde Haired And My Nose Is Pointy I'm The Bad Guy Who Makes Fun Of People That Die In Plane Crashes And Laughs As Long As It Ain't Happened To Him Slim Shady I'm As Crazy As Em Inem And Kim Combined Kch The Maniac's In Replacin The Doctor Cause Dre Couldn't Make It Today He's A Little Under The Weather So I'm Takin His Place Mm Mm Mmm Oh That's Dre With An Ak To His Face Don't Make Me Kill Him Too And Spray His Brains All Over The Place I Told You Dre You Should've Kept That Thang Put Away I Guess That'll Teach You Not To Let Me Play With It Eh I'm A Criminal Interlude Skit Aight Look Uh Huh Just Go Up In That Mother****er Get The Mother****in Money And Get The **** Up Outta There Em Aight I'll Be Right Here Waitin On You Em Aight Yo Em Em What Don't Kill Nobody This Time Em Awwright God Damn **** Whistling How You Doin' Teller Hi How Can I Help You Eminem Yeah I Need To Make A Withdrawl Teller Okay Eminem Put The ****in Money In The Bag Bitch And I Won't Kill You Teller What Oh My God Don't Kill Me Eminem I'm Not Gonna Kill You Bitch Quit Lookin Around Teller Don't Kill Me Please Don't Kill Me Eminem I Said I'm Not Gonna ****in Kill You Hurry The **** Up Boom Thank You Windows Tinted On My Ride When I Drive In It So When I Rob A Bank Run Out And Just Dive In It So I'll Be Disguised In It And If Anybody Identifies The Guy In It I'll Hide For Five Minutes Come Back Shoot The Eyewitness Fire At The Private Eye Hired To Pry In My Business Die Bitches Bastards Brats Pets This Puppy's Lucky I Didn't Blast His Ass Yet If I Ever Gave A **** I'd Shave My Nuts Tuck My Dick Inbetween My Legs And Cluck You Mother****in Chickens Ain't Brave Enough To Say The Stuff I Say So This Tape Is Shut Shit Half The Shit I Say I Just Make It Up To Make You Mad So Kiss My White Naked Ass And If It's Not A Rapper That I Make It As Bi'ma Be A ****in Rapist In A Jason Mask