[00:08.91]Look [00:10.95]They say the universe, it works in a strange way [00:14.22]And it must be true because, [00:16.19]We ain't from the same background or same place [00:19.29]But me and Lesley ended up on that same train [00:21.84]I'm talking everyday, I used to wake up around seven or eight [00:26.73]To catch the 9:06 from Norbury Station [00:29.58]Two different worlds in the same location and- [00:32.57]One day we ended up speaking [00:34.88]And I would talk about college, she would talk about meetings [00:38.41]And how she's planning on leaving [00:40.37]How she hates what she does but she needs it [00:43.02]I asked her what she was doing, it's the weekend [00:45.73]And she said, she said [00:48.63]I don't know myself [00:51.10]I don't know myself no more [00:54.54]She used to be the life of the party for true [00:57.02]And now she going out hardly ever [00:59.68]Her man got her in the yard forever [01:01.55]And her friends wanna help but it's hard to tell her [01:04.36]Hard to let her know that her man's possessive and aggressive [01:07.14]And she can't even see it, [01:09.99]But for them it's clear as day, she's in a situation [01:12.99]Her friend Hannah had a man that was manipulative [01:15.67]So, she could see it from a mile off [01:18.22]Turtleneck jumpers, makeup around the eye spots [01:20.88]All the signs were there [01:22.45]But Lesley made it seem a light affair [01:25.08]Said it wasn't right to share [01:26.49]Her boyfriend, he was a mystery man [01:28.52]I didn't know much about him, but he's been in the can [01:31.20]Name's Jason, he's a bad boy with no reasoning [01:34.13]To be honest, I don't know what Les' sees in him [01:37.08]'Cause she's a good girl with a sweet heart [01:39.85]But they've both got demons and a deep past [01:42.68]You know opposites attract, apparently [01:45.22]I never heard her talk about her family ever, uh-uh [01:48.63]He was all that she had [01:50.00]Until they had an argument and he stopped calling her back [01:52.67]And I don't know if there was more to the story than that [01:55.41]'Cause she plays things down but according to that [01:58.13]He went missing one day in the morning he ran [02:00.77]She's doing overtime, struggling affording the flat [02:03.49]'Til she, lost her job it ****** all of her plans [02:06.17]Couldn't pay the rent, borrowing and calling for cash [02:08.97]But Hannah she was there for her, cared for her [02:12.63]When I saw Les' she told me [02:14.86]I don't know myself [02:17.21]I don't know myself no more [02:20.74]Les' saying, "I got nothing to live for [02:22.60]It's been raw, but David, I ain't never been this poor [02:25.36]There's no income, my boyfriend left me [02:28.17]So how the **** am I going to survive when this kid's born?" [02:30.80]I said, "It's a blessing as mad as it is [02:33.37]And Les', I never even knew that you were having a kid" [02:35.90]Bro, she's four months pregnant, young and neglected [02:38.97]Single but I don't think she wants to accept it [02:41.64]So she's still texting exes trying to get this [02:44.33]Back on track but I don't think that she gets it [02:46.94]It's emotional obsession, clinical depression [02:52.47]Life is a lesson [02:53.73]And you ain't got to sit and cry [02:57.80]And Lesley, living in this gift called life [03:00.52]There's no better gift than the gift of life [03:02.98]So, can you handle it? [03:08.59]I don't know myself [03:11.11]I don't know myself no more [03:14.55]But that changed her perspective [03:16.88]Late in December, her baby's expected to drop [03:20.01]She's accepted, excited, electric, pumped [03:22.65]Only got to wait a few months [03:24.61]Her and Hannah had lunch [03:25.95]Told her she's pregnant [03:27.51]And they're the closest of bredrins [03:30.24]So she didn't stunt to tell her, I think that it's an error [03:33.18]You ain't a mum for a day, you're a mum forever [03:35.82]Whatever, and you and Jason break up whenever [03:38.45]If I'm honest that's something you should have done together [03:41.19]She doesn't know that her and Jason are going out again [03:43.76]And Jason doesn't know that Lesley's carrying a child for them [03:46.49]She had daydreams of settling down with Jason, [03:49.25]Better 'cause now they're together it's wild [03:51.60]Feeling like she needs to call her friends [03:53.44]And tell 'em 'cause while she's letting him down [03:55.31]But most of them are never around [03:56.88]She calls Hannah the next day [03:58.41]Still tryna figure out the best way to tell her [04:03.22]That she's getting back together with an ex-flame [04:05.52]So she left her a voicemail [04:08.04]Like "Yo Hannah, it's Les' can you call me back? [04:10.84]I wanna talk about the baby, you, me, Jason, all of that [04:16.24]I've been feeling like I need to get my aura back [04:18.97]I used to be so ******* confident [04:21.60]But these days, I swear that-" [04:24.29]I don't know myself [04:26.62]I don't know myself no more [04:30.07]It's 3:30 Lesley was meant to get a scan [04:32.80]But today I think she's going home early [04:34.87]Tryna talk to Jason, tell him 'bout the kid [04:37.37]Addressing any reservations [04:38.85]Have that conversation [04:40.20]Middle of the summer and it's raining [04:42.27]Waiting at the train station [04:44.22]Hella cancellations [04:45.59]So she gets a taxi, sitting in a backseat [04:48.30]Blue jean jacket and a maxi [04:50.36]Actually, tired and her legs are aching [04:52.72]Touched the destination [04:54.03]Way faster than the cab driver's estimation [04:56.77]She put the key in the door [04:58.97]She, couldn't believe what she see on the floor [05:01.42]Some size five trainers, raging [05:04.09]Tears in her eyes, but it's cool [05:06.07]'Cause they must be the neighbors [05:07.39]And Jason's in the bedroom fully naked [05:09.86]Lesley running up the stairs but she's making noise [05:13.23]And she can hear Jason's voice [05:15.16]Saying "Hide in the closet" [05:16.56]But he's made his choice [05:17.88]So, she bursts in saying [05:19.13]"What kind of person would cheat on his pregnant girlfriend?" [05:23.21]Jason, saying "What the ****, [05:24.91]You're pregnant? What the ****? [05:26.28]You weren't even gonna tell me, I mean what the ****? [05:29.11]What do you want from us? [05:30.33]Nah, you ain't in love, you just wanna love" [05:34.39]Lesley telling Jason, "I don't wanna love [05:37.14]I don't want a you and I, I don't want an us [05:39.91]And also, I don't wanna talk loads [05:42.48]One more line before I dash like Morse code" [05:45.26]Open the wardrobe [05:46.49]And Jason's on the edge [05:50.33]"I just wanna see if she was prettier than me, slimmer than me [05:53.72]Maybe your baby's similar to me [05:55.36]Maybe you wanted someone thicker than me, fitter than me [05:58.97]To satisfy you quicker than me [06:00.72]I got your baby in my stomach and you did this to me [06:03.34]What did I ever do to you for you to finish with me? [06:06.18]I didn't believe my girls but they were thinking of me [06:08.80]And give it to me, the wardrobe, give me the key" [06:11.57]I was pulling up the door but Jason's bigger than me [06:14.37]Literally, I remember viscerally [06:16.79]Jason pulling from behind me now he's gripping on me [06:19.55]White flashes, eye gashes, when he's hitting me, see [06:22.34]I just wanted to disappear I wasn't living for me [06:24.96]Physically I shut the ******* doors quick as can be [06:27.77]He's outside asking why I made him do what he did [06:30.30]Using a kick to open up the room that I'm in [06:32.97]I'm feeling afraid, barricaded, with a chair in the handle [06:35.76]I'm hearing sirens but I just wanna run away but I can't [06:38.51]Jason's gone by the time police are comin' [06:40.98]They saw that ain't no one else in the house [06:42.75]And feds are running through the door shouting [06:44.30]"'We have reports of an argument with a woman' [06:46.78]There's blood all over the floor [06:47.99]And it's splattered onto the wall [06:49.43]Les-ley's on the bed and she's tryna speak to the feds [06:52.14]She's deep in the stress and his meter's above her head [06:54.82]If anything, she couldn't even say anything [06:57.79]But she's got this really sharp pain where her belly is [07:00.65]So, they call an ambulance, Lesley didn't plan for this [07:03.30]Police are in the room tryna find the missing piece of the puzzle [07:06.27]Until they stumble on something that's kind of random [07:08.38]It's a phone in the wardrobe [07:11.53]They had five missed phone calls from Jason [07:16.07]And also a couple other numbers [07:17.98]So they thinking that it's no help [07:19.47]Until they play the voicemail like [07:22.40]"Yo Hannah, it's Les' can you call me back? [07:25.01]I wanna talk about the baby, you, me, Jason, all of that [07:30.62]I've been feeling like I need to get my aura back [07:33.17]I used to be so ******* confident [07:35.77]But these days, I swear that-" [07:38.59]I don't know myself [07:40.80]I don't know myself no more [07:44.11]She felt sick to her stomach, she started panicking [07:46.37]Mind rattling, tryna understand what Hannah did [07:49.14]Battling the shame 'cause the situation embarrassing [07:51.74]She's tryna fathom it betrayed by her own garrison [07:54.52]Meanwhile, she's on the bed tryna manage this [07:57.33]Piercing pain in the stomach, she couldn't handle it [07:59.86]Now she's waiting for an ambulance [08:04.88]Look [08:05.72]And I know she's strong, but when I heard about [08:08.78]What happened I was over-shocked [08:10.29]Her nose was gone, her jaw line shattered and rocked [08:13.17]They said her baby was the reason she was holding on [08:15.63]She dozing off, doctors getting no response [08:18.44]Her heart rate slowing down and they don't know what's wrong [08:21.16]Picked her up, got her out the home [08:23.25]And onto the stretcher for good measures but she fading out, oh [08:27.03]She took damage to the brain [08:28.61]And now she's in a coma as we speak [08:30.57]But I ain't sure if she can make it out [08:32.86]You see this time that I'm taking out [08:34.38]To tell you the story is more than a song or track [08:37.18]It's a message to a woman with a toxic man [08:39.83]I'm begging you to get support if you're lost or trapped [08:42.49]I understand that I can never understand [08:45.17]And I ain't saying that it's easy but it must be right [08:47.94]Some of your sisters, aunties, mums or wives [08:50.83]Are ****** aside and they will never touch on why [08:53.29]I'm touched 'cause I've seen women that I love though like- [08:56.07]Cry little red tears through a bloodshot eye [08:58.84]This ****'s awful, no matter what culture it ain't normal [09:01.83]Men try and twist it, make it seem like it's your fault [09:04.51]In that train full of people that you're taking [09:07.51]How many Lesleys are running from their Jasons? [09:18.53]Angel without wings [09:22.87]Like the day without the night to bring her peace [09:28.75]A song without a voice [09:31.67]A spark without a flame [09:34.40]A child without a name [09:38.10]Oh, it's just wrong [09:41.39]Like an ocean without a shore [09:44.38]A soldier without a war [09:47.43]How can we do this anymore? [09:51.58]A song without a voice [09:54.40]A spark without a flame [09:57.30]A child without a name [10:01.09]Oh, it's just wrong [10:22.44]Well, we've made a massive amount of progress [10:26.14]In this last year, haven't we? [10:27.73]Feels like a long journey [10:31.88]And I must say it's been a pleasure, [10:34.59]To watch you mature and grow in thought [10:37.72]And in your career and life [10:39.95]You've opened up immensely [10:42.95]I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't miss these sessions [10:46.95]But you know, you can never stop learning about yourself [10:54.11]So you're always welcome [10:56.86]I'm just happy you're at a place now [10:59.87]Where you feel you understand your emotions [11:04.57]And are in control