| Song | About As Helpful As You Can Be Without Being Any Help At All |
| Artist | Dan Mangan |
| Album | Oh Fortune |
| Both feet together | |
| Slowly progressing | |
| Always in time | |
| Don't count the feathers | |
| Just count the wings | |
| Everyday counting | |
| Everything's changing | |
| I almost forgot it | |
| But then I remembered | |
| I was thrown in the boat | |
| Cast out to sea | |
| Friendly with waves | |
| There were sharks below | |
| Hungry for me | |
| So I dangled my leg | |
| I lit up like a match | |
| Because i bled gasoline | |
| Made a torch of myself | |
| Until the moon was mine | |
| Stars made of me | |
| How I lit up that sky | |
| Both feet together | |
| Slowly progressing | |
| Always in time | |
| Don't count the feathers | |
| Just count the wings | |
| Everyday counting | |
| Everything's changing | |
| I almost forgot it | |
| But then I remembered |