作曲 : Benjamin Adamo/David Best/Edward Chivers/Stephen Lewis
I'm the deep sea diving champion of the zodiac
and heres a tantalising glimpse
into the future you'll never have
You clap when your flight lands
You clap at the end of films
You struggle with technology
and you blame this on the instructions
You've got a food hygiene rating of 4
You google google
You're shouting in English at Spaniards in Spain
I'm substituting sugar substitutes for sugar
When I buy one get one free I just eat them both quicker
The veins in your forehead pulse to a rhythm in decline
Sweating like a pig on question time

I'm caramelising onions with prosecco
Dressed up like a pound shop pharaoh
You've got a cag in a bag
You've got a bad back when you go like this
Well don't go like this , just stop
Getting your knickers in a twist , you racist
I'm a downward facing dog
I'm the diamond heist scene in rififi
I consume data intravenously
But it doesn't make me happy
My work colleagues children
Call their teacher Gavin
He's got a salmon shirt with a white collar
That clashes with his skin tone
Of Gammon
Gammon
gAmmon
gaMmon
gamMon
gammOn
gammoN
gammOn
gamMon
gaMmon
gAmmon
Gammon
gAmmon
gaMmon
gamMon
gammOn

I'm thinking of switching my utilities provider
I'm surfing the web on a dial-up modem
I'm on a dial-up modem
I'm on a dial-up modem
I'm surfing the web on a dial-up modem

Pure evil vibrating
Pure evil vibrating
Pure evil vibrating
Pure evil vibrating