Every time 
I hear that march from 
LohengrinI am always on the outside lookin' in
Maybe, that is why 
I see the funny side
When I see somebody's brother take a bride
Weddings make a lot of people sad
But if you're not the one, they're not so bad
Another bride, another 
JuneAnother sunny honeymoon
Another season, another reason
For makin' whoopee
A lot of shoes, a lot of rice
The groom is nervous
Who can blame him? 
He answers twice
It's really killin', but he's so willin' to make whoopee
Picture a little love nest, 
I got youDown where the roses cling, it's very romantic
Picture that same sweet love nest
Think, what a year can bring, 
I'm with you
He's washing dishes and baby clothes, he should
He's so ambitious, not really, he even sews, 2003 babe
But don't forget folks, that's what you get folks
For makin' whoopee
Another year, what, or maybe less
What's this 
I hear, can't you guess? 
NoShe feels neglected and he's suspected, that's right
Of makin' whoopee
She sits alone 'most every night
He doesn't phone nor even write, 
I forgot the number
He says, he's busy, yeah but she says, is he?
He's makin' whoopee
He doesn't make much money
Yeah, five hundred thousand per, who told ya that?
Some judge who thinks he's funny
Says, you pay six to her
He says, "Now judge, what if I fail?"
Judge says, "Bud, right into jail" 
WhoopsYou better keep her, 
I think it's cheaper
Than makin' whoopee
Yeah, don't forget, folks
That's what you get, folks
For makin' whoopee