作曲 : Robert Lopez/Trey Parker/Matt Stone
ELDER SMITH: Do you have any idea where they are sending you, Elder Price?
ELDER PRICE: Well, of course we don't really have final say over where we get sent but
I have been praying to be sent to my favourite place in the whole world
ELDER GRANT: If you prayed for a location, I'm sure Heavenly Father will make it happened
You're like the smartest, best, most deserving elder the center's ever seen...
ELDER PRICE: Aw, come on you guys
ELDER PRICE: The most important time of a Mormon kid's life
Is his mission.
A chance to go out
And help heal the world,
That's my mission.
Soon I'll be off in a different place,
Helping the whole human race.
I know my mission will be
Something incredible!
VOICE: Elders, form a line and step forward when your name is called. ELDER YOUNG!
ELDER YOUNG: Yes sir!
VOICE: Your mission brother will be.... Elder Grant!
ELDER GRANT: That- That's me! Hey brother!
VOICE: And your mission location is... NORWAY!
ELDER YOUNG: Oh wow, NORWAY!
ELDER GRANT: Land of gnomes... and trolls!
ALL: Hoo wah! Hey ya! Shoo wah! Zadup WOW!
ELDER YOUNG and ELDER GRANT: Two by two,
We're marching door to door
'Cause God loves Mormons,
And he wants some more!
A two year mission is our sacrifice!
We are the army of the church of Jesus Christ
ALL: ...Of Latter-day Saints!
Two by two,
And today we'll know
Who we'll make the journey with
And where we'll go
We're fighting for a cause,
But we're really really nice!
We are the army of the Church of Jesus Chirst!
... Of Latter-day Saints!
VOICE: Elder White and Elder Smith!
ELDER SMITH: I KNEW we'd get paired together!
VOICE: Your location will be... FRANCE!
ELDER WHITE: FRANCE! Land of Pastries and Turtlenecks!
ELDER SMITH and ELDER WHITE: Two by two
I guess it's you and me
We're off the preach across land and sea!
ELDER WHITE: Satan has a hold of France!
ELDER SMITH: We need to knock him off his perch!
ELDER SMITH and ELDER WHITE: We are the soldiers of the army of the church!
ALL: Of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints!
VOICE: Elder Cross and Elder Green!
You will be serving in.... Japan!
ELDER GREEN: Ooh! JAPAN!?
ELDER CROSS: Land of Soy Sauce!
ELDER GREEN: And Mothra!
VOICE: Elder Harris and Elder Brown...
ELDER PRICE: Heavenly Father, where will I go on my mission? ( ELDERS: On my mission...)
Will it be China, or ol' Mexico on my mission?( ELDERS: My mission... )
It could be San Fran by the bay,
Australia where they say "G'day!"
But I pray I'm sent
To my favorite place...
ORLANDO!( ELDERS: Orlando...)
ELDER PRICE: I love you,
Orlando!
Sea World and Disney!
And Putt-putt Golfing!
VOICE: Elder Price!
ELDER PRICE: Yes sir!
VOICE: Your brother will be... Elder Cunningham!
ELDER CUNNINGHAM: IT'S ME! IT'S ME! Hello!
ELDER PRICE: Oh, hi!
VOICE: And your mission location is.... UGANDA!
ELDER PRICE: ...Uganda?
ELDER CUNNINGHAM: UGANDA! COOL! WHERE IS THAT...?!
VOICE: Africa!
ELDER CUNNINGHAM: OH BOY! Like Lion King!
ALL: Two by two,
And now it's time to go!
Our paths have been revealed,
So let's start the show!
Our shirts are clean and pressed,
And our haircuts are precise!
We are the army of the church of Jesus...
CHRIST!

Two by two,
We march for victory!
Armed with the greatest book in history!
We'll convert everyone
All across the planet Earth!
That is the beauty of...
The essence of...
The purpose of-
The mission of-
The soldiers of-
The army of the Church of Jesus Christ
...of Latter-Day Saints!