Let's keep the screaming and the fighting and the crying 
To a minimum 
And if the kitchen don't work 
We can fight in the living room 
You try to hurt me when you say 
You'll find another date 
And memories of me will fade away 
You try to hurt me and deny 
That I was an okay guy 
And I'm just left here wondering why 
My Girl is callin' me 
My Girl is callin' me a liar 
My girl is callin' me a jerk (You jerk!) 
You got to realize '
Cause you're not being nice 
I was trying not to hide the facts 
It's the truth that's in disguise 
See, what you fail to see 
Is it wasn't a fantasy 
But little by little, all the things and the pressure 
Just got the best of me 
My Girl is callin' me 
My Girl is callin' me a liar 
My girl is callin' me a jerk 
I should call 
P right now! [P:] 
Hello? [DAVE:] 
She doesn't listen to a single word 
I say [P:] 
Just give the girl some time and she will come around your way [DAVE:] 
Man, I ain't got time to waste 
And I'm tired of fights [P:] 
You've got to be patient with the woman of your life [DAVE:] 
Look, I tried to tell her, but 
She's cussing me out [P:] 
Just take her to the movies and you're gonna work it out! [DAVE:] 
That's it? [P:] 
Yeah [DAVE:] 
Really? Alright then, good night 
P [P:] Good night.