I'm staring out into the vacuum again
From the back porch of my mind
The only thing that's alive
I'm all there is
And I start attacking my vodka, stab the ice with my straw
My eyes have turned red as stop-lights
You seem ready to walk
You know I'll call you eventually
When I want to talk
Until then you're invisible
Cause there's this switch that gets hit
And it all stops making sense
And in the middle of drinks maybe the fifth or the sixth
I'm completely alone at a table of friends
I feel nothing for them
I feel nothing
Nothing
[01:26.459
Well, I need a break from the city again
I think I'll ship myself back west
I got a friend there she says, "hey anytime."
Unless the offer's expired
I have been less than frequent
She's under no obligation to indulge every whim
And I'm so ungrateful, I take, she gives and forgives
And I keep forgetting it.
And each morning she wakes with a dream to describe
Something lovely that bloomed in her beautiful mind
I said "I'll trade you one for two nightmares of mine
I have somewhere I die.
I have somewhere we all die."

I'm thinking of quitting drinking again
I know I said that a couple of times
And I'm always changing my mind
Well, I guess I am
But there's this burn in my stomach and there's this pain in my side
And when I kneel at the toilet
And the morning's clean light pours in through the window
Sometimes I pray I don't die
I'm a goddamn hypocrite
But the night rolls around and it all starts making sense
There is no right way or wrong way
You just have to live
And so I do what I do and at least I exist
What would mean more than this?
What would mean more?
Mean more?