Now I'm in a band, people try to make me do things
Kiss arses and pay tribute

But I'm inclined today to do those things anyway
And I don't care who hears it
Because I'm a fan of the Go-Betweens

A fan of Robert, and I always have been
But I like Grant, not that I've met him

Because he's charming
Of all the stars, and all the would-be stars

I'd take him home to my mum and dad

Yeah, he's charming, but he's a trouble-maker too

He amuses me greatly

I like Lindy and I saw Vickers
Pete stole the set list, and the itinerary

He wrote my name down as "Tour Rent Boy"
It was hard, but so is life

I was making button badges
And I had too much time on my hands
I coloured them by hand
Pere Ubu and the Sugarcubes
Kids came in to watch me
But Pete and Sean just scorned
Just like they scorned Robert

But I secretly loved the big guy
He dressed like Sherlock Holmes
And he fixed us with a quizzative eye
Before singing such romances

That only the sods trampled underfoot by Thatcher
Could appreciate their love
Could appreciate their love