A fine romance  with no kisses

A fine romance  my friend this is

We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes

But you're as cold as yesterdays mashed potatoes

A fine romance  you wont nestle

A fine romance  you wont wrestle

You've never mussed the crease

In my blue serge pants

You never take a chance  this is a fine romance

A fine romance  my good fellow

You take romance  I'll take Jello

You're calmer than the seals in the Arctic Ocean

At least they flap their fins to express emotion

A fine romance  my dear Duchess

Two old fogies  we really need crutches

You're just as hard to land as the Ile de France
(France)

I haven't got a chance

(Chance)

This is a fine romance

A fine romance  my good woman

My strong  aged in the wood woman

You never give those orchids I send a glance

They're just like cactus plants

(Oh boy)

This is a fine romance