These are the thoughts that go through my head
In my backyard on a sunday afternoon
When I have the house to myself and Im not
Expending all that energy on fighting with my boyfriend
Is he the one that I will marry
Why is it so hard to be objective about myself
Why do I feel cellularly alone
Am I supposed to live in this crazy city
Can blindly continued fear induced regurgitated life-denying
Tradition be overcome

Where does the money go that I send to those in need

If we have so much why do some people have nothing still
Why do I feel frantic when I first wake up in the morning

Why do you say you are spiritual
Yet you treat people like shit

How can you say youre close to god

And yet you talk behind my back as though I am not
A part of you  why do I say Im fine when its
Obvious Im not  whys it so hard to tell you what I want
Why cant you just read my mind
Why do I fear that the quieter I am the less you will listen
Why do I care whether you like me or not
Why is it so hard for me to be angry
Why is it such work to stay conscious and so easy to get stuck

And not the other way around

Will I ever move back to canada
Can I be with a lover with whom I am a student and a master
Why am I encouraged to shut my mouth when it gets too close to home
Why cannot I live in the moment