For hearing all my doubts so selectively

For continuing my numbing relentlessly

For helping you and myself  not even considering

For beating myself up and over functioning

To whom do I owe the biggest apology

No one’s been crueler than I've been to me

For letting you decide if I indeed was desirable

For myself love being so embarrassingly conditional

For denying myself to somehow make us compatible

For trying to fit a rectangle into a hall

To whom do I owe the biggest apology

No one’s been crueler than I've been to me

I'm sorry to myself

My apologies begin here before everybody else

I'm sorry to myself

For treating me worse than I would anybody else

For blaming myself for your unhappiness

And for my impatience when I was perfect where I was

Ignoring all the signs that I was not ready

And expecting myself to be where you wanted me to be

To whom do I owe the first apology

No one’s been crueler than I've been to me

And I’m sorry to myself

My apologies begin here before everybody else
I’m sorry to myself

For treating me worse than I would anybody else

Well  I wonder which crime is the biggest

Forgetting you or forgetting myself

Had I heeded the wisdom of the latter

I would've naturally loved the former

For ignoring you  my highest voices

For smiling when my strife was all too obvious

For being so disassociated from my body

And not letting go when it would've been the kindest thing

To whom do I owe the biggest apology

No one’s been crueler than I've been to me

And I’m sorry to myself

My apologies begin here before everybody else
I’m sorry to myself

For treating me worse than I would anybody else
I’m sorry to myself

My apologies begin here before everybody else
I’m sorry to myself

For treating me worse than I would anybody else