I broke my promise on a very sharp rock
And I was possessed by something quite unfriendly
And I was haunted by a demon in my sleep
And that's how I learned how to survive
And I gave a beer to a bum that was drinking
And I gave some sauce to my bestest friend for cooking

And I gave water to all I thought were thirsty
And that's how I learned how to survive
I gave my money to the bank for safe keeping
And I gave my money to my landlord he was needing it
And I gave attention to the TV that was bleeding
And that's how I learned how to survive
But if you ain't got the do re mi boys
If you got the do re mi
Well you better go back to beautiful Texas
Oklahoma Kansas Georgia Tennessee
California's a garden of Eden a paradise to live in or see
But believe it or not you won't find it so hot
If you ain't got the do re mi
And we totally ripped off a man named Woody Gutherie
And I bought a restaurant for his son named Alice
And I fed false information to the audience
And that's how I learned how to survive
And I give a thank you to my father for not raising me
And I give a finger to my step father for beating me
And I give props to myself for achieving
And god damn I'm glad that I survived
And god damn I'm surprised that I survived

We just handed you a giant load of gibberish

And I give love to a lover quite deserving of it

And I give thanks to all of you for listening
To the story of how we learned how to survive