A man's got a heart, hasn't he?
Joking apart - hasn't he?
And tho' I'd be the first one to say that I wasn't a saint,
I'm finding it hard to be really as black as they paint...
I'm reviewing the situation
Can a fellow be a villain all his life?
All the trials and tribulations!
Better settle down and get myself a wife.
And a wife would cook and sew for me,
And come for me, and go for me,
And go for me, and nag at me,
The fingers, she would wag at me.
The money she would take from me.
A misery, she'd make from me...
...I think I'd better think it out again!
A wife you can keep, anyway,
I'd rather sleep, anyway.
Left without anyone in the world,
And I'm starting from now.
So "how to win friends and to influence people"
--So how?
I'm reviewing the situation,
I must quickly look up everyone I know.
Titled people - with a station -
Who can help me make a real impressive show!
I will own a suite at Claridges,
And run a fleet of carriages,
And wave at all the duchesses
With friendliness, as much as is
Befitting of my new estate...
[Good morrow to you, magistrate!
...I think I'd better think it out again.
What happens when I'm seventy?
Must come a time...seventy.
When you're old, and it's cold
And who cares if you live or you die,
Your one consolation's the money
You may have put by...
I'm reviewing the situation.
I'm a bad 'un and a bad 'un I shall stay!
You'll be seeing no transformation,
But it's wrong to be a rogue in every way.
I don't want nobody hurt for me,
Or made to do the dirt for me.
This rotten life is not for me.
It's getting far too hot for me.
There is no in between for me
But who will change the scene for me?
Don't want no one to rob for me.
But who will find a job for me
...I think I'd better think it out again!
Hey!