[00:00.300]
[00:07.000] A week before the battle of Bull Run, Sullivan Ballou, a major in the 2nd Rhode Island Volunteers, wrote home to his wife in Smithfield.
[00:18.000] July 14, 1861. Washington DC
[00:24.000] Dear Sarah: The indications are very strong
[00:28.000] That we shall move in a few days — perhaps tomorrow.
[00:31.000] And lest I should not be able to write you again,
[00:35.000] I feel impelled to write a few lines
[00:37.000] That may fall under your eye
[00:38.000] When I shall be no more …
[00:42.000] I have no misgivings about,
[00:44.000] Or lack of confidence
[00:45.000]In the cause in which I am engaged,
[00:48.000] And my courage does not halt or falter.
[00:52.000] I know how American Civilization
[00:54.000] Now leans on the triumph of the Government
[00:57.000] And how great a debt we owe to those
[00:59.000] Who went before us
[01:00.000] Through the blood and sufferings of the Revolution.
[01:04.000] And I am willing — perfectly willing —
[01:06.000] To lay down all my joys in this life,
[01:09.000]To help maintain this Government,
[01:11.000] And to pay that debt …
[01:15.000] Sarah, my love for you is deathless,
[01:20.000] It seems to bind me with mighty cables
[01:22.000] That nothing but Omnipotence could break;
[01:25.000] And yet my love of Country
[01:26.000] Comes over me like a strong wind
[01:29.000] And bears me irresistibly
[01:30.000] With all those chains to the battle field.
[01:35.000] The memories of all the blissful moments I have enjoyed with you
[01:38.000] Come crowding over me,
[01:41.000] And I feel most deeply grateful to God
[01:43.000] And to you
[01:45.000] That I have enjoyed them for so long.
[01:48.000] And how hard it is for me to give them up
[01:50.000] And burn to ashes the hopes of future years,
[01:55.000] When, God willing,
[01:56.000] We might still have lived and loved together,
[01:59.000]And seen our boys grown up，
[02:00.000] To honorable manhood around us.
[02:04.000] If I do not return,
[02:06.000] My dear Sarah,
[02:08.000] Never forget how much I loved you,
[02:10.998] Nor that when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield,
[02:15.998] It will whisper your name.
[02:20.998] Forgive my many faults
[02:22.998] And the many pains I have caused you.
[02:26.998] How thoughtless,
[02:27.998] How foolish I have sometimes been!
[02:31.998] But, O Sarah!
[02:33.998] If the dead can come back to this earth
[02:36.998] And flit unseen around those they love,
[02:39.998] I shall always be with you;
[02:41.998] In the brightest day and the darkest night …
[02:44.998] Always, always,
[02:49.998] And when the soft breeze fans your cheek,
[02:52.998] It shall be my breath,
[02:54.998] When the cool air your throbbing temple,
[02:57.998] It shall be my spirit passing by.
[03:03.998] Sarah do not mourn me dead;
[03:07.998] Think I am gone
[03:09.998] And wait for me,
[03:11.998] For we shall meet again …
[03:19.998] Sullivan Ballou was killed a week later at the First Battle of Bull Run.