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[00:03.58]Right now you are down and out and feeling really crappy
[00:10.22]I'll say.
[00:11.45]And when I see how sad you are
[00:14.41]It sort of makes me...
[00:16.93]Happy!
[00:18.72]Happy?!
[00:20.24]Sorry, Nicky, human nature-
[00:23.38]Nothing I can do!
[00:26.14]It's...
[00:26.94]Schadenfreude!
[00:29.71]Making me feel glad that I'm not you.
[00:33.63]Well that's not very nice, Gary!
[00:35.79]I didn't say it was nice! But everybody does it!
[00:39.10]D'ja ever clap when a waitress falls and drops a tray of glasses?
[00:44.99]Yeah...
[00:45.55]And ain't it fun to watch figure skaters falling on their asses?
[00:51.35]Sure!
[00:51.91]And don'tcha feel all warm and cozy,
[00:55.11]Watching people out in the rain!
[00:57.32]You bet!
[00:57.93]That's...
[00:58.73]Schadenfreude!
[01:01.50]People taking pleasure in your pain!
[01:05.31]Oh, Schadenfreude, huh?
[01:07.46]What's that, some kinda Nazi word?
[01:09.36]Yup! It's German for "happiness at the misfortune of others!"
[01:12.74]"Happiness at the misfortune of others." That is German!
[01:16.98]Watching a vegetarian being told she just ate chicken
[01:23.02]Or watching a frat boy realize just what he put his dick in!
[01:29.76]Being on the elevator when somebody shouts "Hold the door!":
[01:35.35]"No!!!"
[01:36.58]Schadenfreude!
[01:39.35]"Fuck you lady, that's what stairs are for!"
[01:44.20]Ooh, how about...
[01:45.67]Straight-A students getting Bs?
[01:47.39]Exes getting STDs!
[01:49.03]Waking doormen from their naps!
[01:50.55]Watching tourists reading maps!
[01:52.10]Football players getting tackled!
[01:53.88]CEOs getting shackled!
[01:55.39]Watching actors never reach
[01:56.74]The ending of their oscar speech!
[01:59.02]Schadenfreude!
[02:02.27]Schadenfreude!
[02:05.46]Schadenfreude!
[02:08.72]Schadenfreude!
[02:11.30]The world needs people like you and me who've been knocked around by fate.
[02:17.64]'Cause when people see us, they don't want to be us,
[02:20.76]and that makes them feel great.
[02:23.72]Sure!
[02:24.33]We provide a vital service to society!
[02:29.61]You and me!
[02:31.15]Schadenfreude!
[02:33.85]Making the world a better place...
[02:37.17]Making the world a better place...
[02:40.36]Making the world a better place...
[02:44.98]To be!
[02:48.25]S-C-H-A-D-E-N-F-R-E-U-D-E!