BOB: I have to admit I'm an absolute shit But at least you can't call me a hypocrite I don't want fame or the critics' acclaim Take it from me that's a pointless game I've got a minder a chauffeur, a flunkey 'cause I’m the organ-grinder not the monkey Call me old-fashioned At least I know what I like Call me old-fashioned If you're so wet Why don't you get on your bike? Call me old-fashioned At least I'm moving ahead Call me old-fashioned If I can't charm you I'll just strong-arm you to bed The moment I see you with your trousers dropped Will be as rewarding as just having shopped All of the names that I've spent years collecting They're the only things that are worth respecting Prada and Porsche and Philippe Starck The only little problem is where to park Call me old-fashioned You're all so quick to condemn Call me old-fashioned Until you learn How much I earn and I spend Call me old-fashioned and I've been called worse than muck Call me old-fashioned but understand What I've got planned won't be luck Sex is fun and sex sells, honey A shiny dream to make me money Where the sea is blue, the sky is sunny Love is hot and suprisingly Old-fashioned I'll make love down the phone Call me tomorrow I'll give you breaks I'll be as long as it takes to your home Call me old-fashioned At least I'm moving ahead Call me old-fashioned If I can't charm you I'll just strong-arm you to bed Where you can be old-fashioned with me