作曲 : Chapple, Falkous, Harding
  The little kid pissed on the big kids porch
 He thinks he's amazing he's rubbish of course
 But one of those bands got paid I heard
 One of those bands got paid
 
 It's easy to say now their trainers seemed fine 
 and their hair was a fucking delight
 But one of those bands got paid I heard
 One of those bands got fake tits
 
 Collagen rock
 
 One of those bands got legs like you
 And one of them got the stare
 But one of those bands got found I heard
 In a hole in Aberdare
 
 Its easy to say now their trainers seemed fine 
 and their hair was a fucking delight
 But one of those bands got paid I heard
 One of those bands got fake tits
 
 Collagen rock
 
 You've got a mouth got a wonderful mouth
 You've got a mouth got a wonderful mouth you got a
 
 Collagen rock