Feeling kind of bony 
On the telephoney 
Talking to 
Marconi Eating 
Rice-a-Roni 
Nominated for a 
Tony For acting like a phoney 
Watching Twilight 
Zoney On my forty-two inch 
Sony This is just a long song 
It ain't no poem 
Leave the lights on till your baby gets home 
It's like sitting in the kitchen 
When the music's really bitchin' 
Your nose it starts to itchin' 
As you count your old age pension 
Did I forget to mention 
The ride that 
I was hitchin' 
To the Aluminum convention 
I had such good intention 
Keep your cotton pickin' fingers off 
My song poem 
And leave the lights on till your baby gets home 
Leave the lights on till your baby gets home 
Leave the lights on till your baby gets home 
Don't forget your toothbrush 
Your hairbrush and your comb 
Leave the lights on till your baby gets home 
Got a big ol' dog 
A chrome crowbar 
I keep that mother humper in the back seat of my car 
Me and Billy 
Shakespeare 
Stepped out to get a root beer 
We sat together so near 
People thought we were queer 
Punctuated by the big scare 
We joined the 
Air Force right there 
To defend our country first class 
Who couldn't give a rat's ass 
Don't you tell me that the 
White House is my home 
Leave the lights on till your baby gets home 
Leave the lights on till your baby gets home 
Leave the lights on till your baby gets home 
Don't forget your toothbrush 
Your hairbrush and your comb 
Leave the lights on till your baby gets home 
Got a big ol' dog 
A big iron bar 
I keep that mother humper in the back seat of my car 
It's like kissing 
Greta Garbo with a mouth full of marbles 
Like trying to cash a paycheck in the middle of a train wreck 
Leave the lights on 
Leave the lights on 
Like trying to get aroundo in a carmade of bondo 
Like speaking 
German lingo to a dog named 
Dingo - Plotz!! 
Leave the lights on 
Leave the lights on 
Like a French fried quesadilla 
In a franchised pizzeria 
Leave the lights on 
Leave the lights on 
A big iron bar 
I keep that mother humper in the back seat of my car.