Shrek Voiceover:
Once upon a time, there was a little ogre named Shrek,
who lived with his parents in a bog by a tree.
It was a pretty nasty place,
but he was happy because ogres like nasty places.
On his birthday,
the little ogre's parents sat him down to talk,
just as all ogre's parents had for hundreds of years before.

Mama Ogre:
Listen son, you're growing up so quickly,
Growing up, bigger by the day.
Papa Ogre:
Although we want you here,
The rules are very clear--
Mama Ogre:
Now you're seven...
Papa Ogre:
Now you're seven...
Both:
So it's time to go away.
Papa Ogre:
Your Mama packed a sandwich for your trip.
Mama Ogre:
Your Papa packed your boots in case of snow.
Both:
You're gonna make us proud.
No backing up allowed.
Mama Ogre:
Just keep walking...
Papa Ogre:
Just keep walking...
Both:
and you'll find somewhere to go.

It's a big bright beautiful world,
with happiness all around.
It's peaches and cream
and every dream comes true...
But not for you.

It's a big, bright, beautiful world,
with possibilities everywhere.
And just around the bend,
there's a friend or two...
But not for you.

Mama Ogre:
You're ugly son,
which means that life is harder.
People hate the things they cannot understand.
Papa Ogre:
And when they look at us,
they tend to make a fuss.
Mama Ogre:
Burn our houses down.
Papa Ogre:
and chase us...
Both:
Off our land.
Papa Ogre:
It's important that you find a cozy cesspit.
Mama Ogre:
A place no one would ever dare to tread.
Both:
And if they happen by,
make sure you terrify them.
Mama Ogre:
If you don't, son...
Papa Ogre:
If you don't, son...
Both:
Then you'll surely wind up dead.

Mama Ogre:
Good-bye!
Papa Ogre:
Good-bye!
Mama Ogre:
Watch out for men with pitch-forks!

Shrek Voiceover:
And so the little ogre went off
and found a muddy patch of swampland,
far, far away from the world that despised him.
And there he stayed for many years.
Tucked away, and all alone...
which was just the was he liked it.

Shrek:
Keep your big bright beautiful world.
I'm happy where I am, all alone.
I got all I need,
so read the stinkin' sign!

Keep your big bright beautiful world.
I party on my own anyway.
Doin' what I can
with a one-man conga line.

Yeah, your big bright beautiful world
is all teddy bears and unicorns.
Take your fluffy fun,
and shove it where the sun don't shine!

I prefer a life like this--
it's not that complicated.
Sure, I'm fated to be lonely,
and I'm destined to be hated.
If you read the books, they say
it's why I was created.
But I don't care,
'cause being liked
is grossly overrated.

Who needs a big bright beautiful world?
I got my own little patch of the world!
It's not a big bright beautiful world,
but it's mine!
Alone!
It's mine!
And it's mine!
All mine!