Gentlemen! Gentlemen!
A secretary is not a toy,
No my boy;
Not a toy to fondle and dandle
And playfully handle
In search of some puerile joy.
No, a secretary is not,
Definitely not a toy.

You're absolutely right, Mr. Bratt!
We wouldn't have any other way, Mr. Bratt!
It's a company rule, Mr. Bratt!

A secretary is not a toy,
No my boy,
not a toy.
So do not go jumping for joy,
Boy! A secretary is not...
A secretary is not,
A secretary is not ...a toy.

A secretary is not a pet,
Nor an erector set.
t happened to Charlie McCoy, boy!
They fired him a shot
The day the fellow forgot
A secretary is not... A toy!

She's a highly specialized key
Component of operation unity...
A fine and sensitive mechanism
To serve the office community
With a mother at home
She supports.
And you'll find nothing like her at F.A.O. Schwartz!

A secretary is not to be
Used for play therapy.
Be good to the girl you employ, boy;
Remember, no matter what
Neurotic trouble you've got,
A secretary is not ...a toy.

A secretary is not a thing
One buy key, hold by string
Her pad...Is to write in,
And not spend the night in
If that's what you plan to enjoy.
No!
The secretary you got,
Is definitely not
Employed to do a gavotte,
Or you know what,
Before you jump for joy,
Remember this my boy,
A secretary is not,
A tinker toy!